


i'm a loser who loves you (yes, i'm a misery)

by honeydipped (itomorian)



Category: Triple H (Korea Band), VIXX, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Character Study, F/M, Light Angst, M/M, Multi, Red String of Fate, Red String of Fate AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-27
Updated: 2019-09-27
Packaged: 2020-10-29 11:29:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20795921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itomorian/pseuds/honeydipped
Summary: Ever since the day Hwitaek found out he could see the red string of fate, he knew his life would never be the same again.//title from shine by pentagon~





	i'm a loser who loves you (yes, i'm a misery)

**Author's Note:**

> also... so u see that hui+yoongles relationship tag there? hehehehe i'm just going to say that almost 90% of this was written while i was on my period (and having horrendous mood swings - my pcos buddies where y'all at!?!?!?!?!?), decked up on painkillers and therefore p fuckin out of it, or high as fuck. soooooooo (also bc bts are my ults, and i made the only other '93 liner relevant to this, a little uwu baby, soooo yoongles was the only choice.) hehehehe c':

Hwitaek knew. Deep down, Hwitaek always knew.

☆

The first time he had seen the red string of fate™, it was around the time he was in kindergarten.

He remembers drawing all by his lonesome in the sandbox with a stick he found under a tree, when his kindergarten teacher Seokjin Appa approaches him with a soft smile on his face.

"Hui-yah~! What is my little artist drawing?" Appa Jin sing-songs, and Hwitaek loves how he calls him 'Hui'. And he loves Appa Jin's voice more than that. But most of all he loves Seokjin.

"Hui is drawing Appa Jin and Hui's wedding," Hwitaek mumbles cutely, and looks up to see Seokjin smiling.

Noticing the child's gaze Seokjin fakes a loud gasp, and then bursts into his signature windshield-wiper laughter followed by schooling his features in what seems to Hwitaek like a millisecond, before asking to take a proper look at the picture.

Hwitaek proudly presents the sand drawing to his teacher. "This is Hui, and this is Jinnie Appa, and we have a flower gate thingy like Hui's eomma and Appa did," Hwitaek explains to him and the man is quietly wheezing from laughter at Hwitaek's description of an altar, nevertheless he pats the boy's back and ruffles his hair.

"This is amazing, baby! Can Jinnie Appa take a photo of it? I will frame it and keep it in my house." Seokjin almost breaks into laughter again, but takes his phone out and opens the camera app. At Hwitaek's nod, he takes a couple of pictures of the drawing before the bell finally rings indicating that playtime's over.

"Ready to get back to class?" Seokjin asks and Hwitaek nods, placing his little hand into Seokjin's humongous one, and then they walk to class as Seokjin calls out to all the other children, with Appa-Hakyeon rounding up the rest of them and bringing them inside.

And only when they get back to the classroom and Seokjin lets go of Hwitaek's little hand, does Hwitaek notice something out of the ordinary.

A red, pretty and glistening, thin ribbon dangles from Appa Jin's pinky finger. It looks smooth and silk-like, and Hwitaek wants to grab it so much. So he does; or rather, he tries. His fingers pass right through the silky thread, but the thread is still there.

Hwitaek pouts, and then tries to grab the thread another couple of times, forgetting that his teacher might be watching him.

"Hui-yah~ is there something on Appa's hand?" Seokjin asks little Hwitaek gently making the child look up at the man.

"Appa Jinnie, you have a pretty red ribbon on your pinky finger," Hwitaek mumbles, pointing at the thread with his finger.

Seokjin laughs in confusion because when he takes a look at his hand, there's no red thread on his little finger. However, to appease the child he feigns excitement and asks if Hwitaek knows what it may be. Hwitaek shakes his head no, but he promises his teacher that he would ask his parents when he gets home, and with that Hwitaek lets the subject go. Rather, he forgets about it for the time being.

☆

"Hui-yah~! Where's my little baby?" Hwitaek can hear his mother’s sweet voice calling out to him some time after he is home from school, and he runs to his mother, as fast as his little legs can take him. He finds his mother in the living room, furiously typing away at her laptop.

“Eomma~!” Hwitaek exclaims cheerfully, jumping when he reaches his mother, and his mother looks away from the laptop to look at her son, smiling when she catches his eyes.

“How was your day at school, baby?” His mother asks as she closes the laptop and keeps it aside, then beckons Hwitaek to climb up in her lap, which Hwitaek joyfully does, giving a loud smooch to his mother’s cheek while tries to get settled on his mother’s lap.

“It was very very very very very very very veeery good eomma!!!” Hwitaek gushes to his mother once he gets comfortable in his lap, and then proceeds to tell her about all the fun activities that they did earlier today, starting from the finger-painting to learning rhymes.

"That's great, baby! Anything else you want to tell me?” Hwitaek’s mother asks, after gushing at her son’s excitement about his day well spent in class, looking at him expectantly. Hwitaek shakes his head no, even though there’s a nagging feeling in the back of his mind that there was something he had to ask his mother, Hwitaek can’t recall whatever it was.

His mother smiles at him, ruffles his hair, showers his face and head with kisses until she is satisfied and Hwitaek is a mess of giggles, and only then does she let him go. Hwitaek climbs off of her lap, shoots her a finger-heart which she returns with a loud laugh, and then runs off into his room.

In the evening at dinner time, when his family (which consists of him and his mother) is sitting down to eat, it is then that Hwitaek notices something unusual taking place. A red silk thread dangles from his mother’s pinky finger, but it comes to an end shortly and Hwitaek watches it sway around before falling limply on to the dinner table, as his mother starts to eat.

“Eomma, what is that pretty red thread on your finger?” Hwitaek asks, pointing at his mother’s left hand, and his mother looks at what Hwitaek is pointing at only to get a slightly surprised look in her eyes before she looks at Hwitaek with a smile.

“That’s the red string of fate, baby.” She says, lifting her hand close to her face, and shaking it. The string flutters in accordance to the shaking and swaying of her hand and Hwitaek looks at it with amazement shining in his eyes.

“Eomma, what does fate mean?” Hwitaek questions, eyes wide and still captivated by the thread loosely swaying, and he tries to catch it only to fail. Hwitaek pouts at failing to catch it again, and hears his mother chuckle before she grabs the thread between the thumb and forefinger of her right hand, and then wraps the torn string around her pinky.

“Hmm. . .” Hwitaek’s mother hums as she pauses, thinking as to just how to explain to her four-year-old what fate is. She doesn’t want to say something that would end up scaring her child into not wanting to see the threads ever again, so she takes a bit of time to try to tone it down for her son.

"Fate is the future, baby." She settles on the simplest, least intimidating definition that she can think of for the time being. As and once her son grows, he will surely have his own meaning and idea of fate, but until then, she'll let him have some peace, and less of the burden that comes with being able to see the strings of fate.

“The future?” Hwitaek asks, confused.

“Yes, the future,” his mother replies, and then asks, “since when can you see them, baby?”

“I saw it for the first time today, on Appa Jin's hand," Hwitaek replies, making big puppy eyes at his mother, feeling as though she is not very happy because of him seeing the threads, but to his relief, his mother ruffles his hair fondly and gently pinches his nose.

“And? Did you say anything to him?” She asks, and Hwitaek slowly nods, scared he might make her angry, but his mother, ever-so-patient, only sighs softly. “What did you tell him?” She questions, still sounding nothing but endlessly patient, and gentle, and soothing. And it propels Hwitaek to tell her about the entire incident from the beginning.

“Don’t tell anyone you can see it, okay baby?” his mother sighs and then whispers to him after Hwitaek is done telling her about what happened, playing with his fingers and Hwitaek eagerly nods, which makes his mother give him a small smile in return. Hwitaek loves his mother’s smile so much he will do anything to keep seeing it, so he links his pinky with his mother’s as a silent assurance that he would keep his ability to himself.

He keeps his promise.

When he goes to school after that, Seokjin eyes him curiously as to see if Hwitaek remembers anything from the previous day, about pretty red ribbons hanging from pinkies, but the child does not show any signs, so Seokjin lets it go, chalking it up to the bliss of having a child’s memory.

_(Ah, _he thinks_, children’s memory, must be so nice to be able to forget things that seemed so important in one particular moment.)_

Hwitaek succeeds in acting like he doesn’t remember anything from the last time he talked to Appa Jin (which of course, was about the red string of destiny), and he hopes his teacher doesn’t ask him something about that. Thankfully the man doesn’t, but that does not deter Hwitaek from sneaking glances at the thread dangling from his teacher’s little finger.

The day passes by pretty much ordinarily, nothing significant happening throughout, until . . . well . . . Until school-time is over with and it is time for the kids to go back with their parents. Hwitaek’s mother is a little late so he has to wait for her, and it is then Hwitaek notices it happening.

As Yoongi’s father Mr. Kim comes to pick him up, a red thread emerges from his finger, and comes all the way to Seokjin Appa’s red thread and gets intertwined with it. Once both the threads are merged into one, the joint thread gives off a soft, golden luminescence before going back to normal.

It causes Hwitaek to gasp under his breath, because it is so beautiful and so amazing, and Hwitaek wants to see it again, but all he can do instead is stare back and forth between Yoongi’s father’s and his teacher’s pinky fingers.

“Seokjin hyung! Thank you so much for taking care of Yoongi again.” Namjoon-ahjussi says to Appa Jin and Appa Jin smiles brightly at him, extending his hand for a handshake. Mr. Kim slips his hand into Seokjin Appa's and shakes it, and Hwitaek can't take his eyes off of the red thread connecting the two men to each other.

“I enjoy doing that, Namjoon-ssi, it doesn’t even feel like work anymore.” Appa Jin replies, and Mr. Kim smiles very cutely, and Yoongi hugs Appa Jin tightly, refusing to leave his comfortable perch on the teacher’s waist.

“Yoongi, baby, get off of hyung, we have to go home now.” Mr. Kim tries to get Yoongi to climb off of the man, but fails when Yoongi pouts and whines, and then buries his face into Appa Jin’s shoulder.

“Yoongi doesn’t wanna go home. Yoongi and appa are so alone. Why can’t we take Appa Jin home? Yoongi wants Appa Jin to be his real appa.” He whines, nuzzling his teacher’s shoulder and Mr. Kim’s face goes red. Mr. Kim looks like he has a stomachache but Hwitaek can’t stop staring at this interaction in awe.

_So that’s fate, huh?_ That seems wonderful. Because now if everything goes right then Yoongi’s appa and Appa Jin will get married. And then there is also Yoongi’s little brother Taehyung who is a little baby, and all of them will then be a very happy family. And if that is fate, then Hwitaek is so happy, and he loves it. He loves fate. Now he really wants to know his fate.

“Appa Jin will come to Yoongi and his appa’s house on Sunday then, okay baby? Then Yoongi and his appa won’t be alone, and Yoongi will get to spend the day with both his appa and Appa Jin.” Seokjin Appa promises Yoongi and only then does Yoongi get off of him.

Yoongi’s father, Kim Namjoon bows to Seokjin many times, while constantly saying sorry, and then stands properly and asks for the older man’s forgiveness _yet again_ because he doesn’t know why Yoongi acted like that, or said all of that. But Seokjin only giggles and waves a hand at him in dismissal, telling the younger man to keep his Sunday free, because he is looking forward to it.

“Hyung, I’m sorry again.” Yoongi’s father apologizes to Seokjin, causing Seokjin to feign annoyance this time, “Yah, Namjoon-ssi, the more you apologize the more I feel like you don’t wanna spend time with me. Surely I am not that bad?” He asks, causing Namjoon to blush an adorable shade of peach, and the older of them chuckles, blowing both father and son a kiss. Namjoon stutters over his own words while taking their leave and practically runs away from the premises, his son hoisted up in his arms.

Seokjin finds Hwitaek still staring at his pinky finger. He’d caught the child’s little gasp when Namjoon had first gotten here, and seen the child’s eyes go back and forth and so on between his and Namjoon’s hands right after that.

His mind goes back to the _pretty red ribbon_ that the child had mentioned, again. he wonders if the red string of fate is real, and he wonders if that is what has led him to Namjoon. Whatever it may be, he is just glad to have gotten an opportunity to spend with the father-son duo he adores, and he promises himself he’s going to try to make it work, _fate or not_.

Hwitaek is still recovering from the shock of seeing the red string of fate in action for the first time, when he is in for a shock again. Sanghyuk’s appa Mr. Jung comes to pick him up, and Hwitaek sees a red string take form on his little finger and reach out to Hakyeon-Appa, another red string from whose hand is already stretching out, both the red strings meeting in the middle.

“Ah, Taekwoon-ssi! Here’s your son. Go to appa, Hyukie!” Hakyeon cheerfully talks to both the Jung father-and-son duo, but the older Jung only looks at him coldly before taking his son away from Hakyeon’s arms.

The younger Jung squeals in glee the moment he is in his father’s arms, and then he hugs his father tightly, burying his face in his father’s neck, rambling about how his day went. Hakyeon looks at Taekwoon with a gentle smile still, yet gets nothing but an annoyed, angry glare from the latter in return which causes the smile on his face to flicker, and his gaze to shake and then lower.

“Thank you for taking care of Sanghyuk again, Seokjin-ssi," Taekwoon says to Seokjin with a barely noticeable smile after he comes to stand near the younger man, while shaking his hand. Seokjin looks at him, the awkwardness that he is feeling reflected in his gaze, and then lets go of his hand quickly.

“It’s what I’m here to do, Taekwoon-hyung. Barely feels like work anymore. Besides, I think we should all thank Hakyeon who is an amazing teacher, man, and ‘Appa’ to these kids and I’m afraid that without him I would’ve lost my mind.” Seokjin says, sneaking a glance at Hakyeon who is busy talking to the parents of other students, before he continues. “And I’ll have you know that Hakyeon is the best at handling Sanghyuk, not to mention Sanghyuk seems to have a soft spot for him too; which is also what makes it a lot easier for me.”

The older Jung looks at both Seokjin, and then Hakyeon, and then shoots Seokjin a smile. “I don’t know if _that person_ has asked you to say this to me about him, or if it is just you trying to help your friend out with his romantic misadventures, Seokjin-ssi; _I _will have_ you _know_,_ that I will _never_, and I do mean _never,_ look at him the way he wants me to," Taekwoon says, nods at Seokjin, and then walks away, his son in his arms.

Hwitaek stares at the leaving man's back until he is out of view, and then looks at Hakyeon who seems to be doing the same thing as he was doing moments ago. He notices that the red string looks lifeless and somewhat brown-ish, and then he looks at his own hand where his red string should supposedly be.

Is that fate? What he saw happen between Hakyeon and Taekwoon? Because if that is fate, so much pain, so much hurting, then Hwitaek doesn’t want to know what his is. Hwitaek doesn’t want anything to do with his fate. Hwitaek hates fate. And Hwitaek will never be a slave of his.

After that, Hwitaek tries not to see people’s strings of fate, no matter how much he just cannot avoid it.

☆

“Eomma, why is your thread torn?” Hwitaek asks his mother one day, when they’re out on a picnic in a park just a little distance away from their apartment complex. It’s a beautiful sunny day in December (which is what inspired the picnic), and the now eleven-year-old Hwitaek looks at his mother, gaze curious.

His mother stops mid-action, keeping down the half-made sandwich in her hands, and raises an eyebrow at her son. “Why all of a sudden?” She asks, just as curious, her hands now in her lap and fingers intertwined.

“Just curious, eomma.” Hwitaek replies, just as uneasy with himself as his mother is, now that he has finally addressed the elephant in the room (in the park?) that has been there, neglected for so many years.

His mother sighs. “It’s just complicated,” She says, continuing, “Not to mention a bit of a long story too—” and cuts herself off when she reflexively and unconsciously pulls on her torn string a bit too hard. She shakes her hand for some moments to get some circulation going on in there, and once she feels like the finger is fine, she drops her hand to rest in her lap again.

“Aren’t we here to have a fun time, though, eomma? Stories are always fun, aren’t they?” Hwitaek asks, a tiny whine resounding in his throat, and his mother sighs again. She doesn’t want Hwitaek to know now, at such a young age, about how messed-up fate can be. About how fate can lead you to people who just aren’t good for you, but were meant for you at some point.

But most of all, she does not want Hwitaek to be influenced by her opinion of fate. She does not want her history to warp Hwitaek’s perception of his own future. She doesn’t want him to be wary of his fate.

“Stories are fun, Hui-yah, but not this one.” Eventually, she breathes out.

“I’m sorry eomma, I shouldn’t have asked.” Hwitaek, sensing his mother’s discomfort and reluctance, apologizes, giving up on the topic.

“You shouldn’t be sorry, baby. You have complete freedom to be curious, to want to ask. I’m just reluctant to tell you anything more about whatever my history is because _you’re so young, Hui-yah_. You're so young and so impressionable. And I'm afraid that whatever I say, good or bad, is going to end up influencing your opinion of everything too. And I don't want that.” His mother explains, voice pained as she clutches at her son’s hand.

“Still, I’m sorry eomma.” Hwitaek sincerely apologizes one more time, holding his mother’s hand between both of his and bringing it to his chest.

“I promise baby; I promise I’ll tell you everything once you’re old enough.” His mother gives him her word, and then resumes making the sandwich she had abandoned mid-process to talk to her son.

The rest of the picnic goes by eventfully, with bursts of laughter and cheer every so often, with the mother-and-son duo playing games around their spot of the picnic; and it is only when it is starting to get dark do the mother-son duo decide to leave.

On their way home, Hwitaek tells his mother that he wants ice-cream, and the woman whoops in joy (ending up embarrassed, because she forgot that they were walking on a busy street), and so they go to the nearest ice-cream parlour to grab some. Hwitaek gets busy deciding what flavour he wants, scouring the glass case with a focused gaze, his hand in his mother’s when he feels her stiffen.

He looks at her to make sure if she is fine, but her face looks pale, and she, nervous. She doesn’t seem to be looking at someone, though, so Hwitaek does not know what the cause of her unease is. He squeezes his mother’s hand in reassurance that he is with her, and that she is not alone in this, and only then does his mother smile at him, the tension leaving her body.

Little does Hwitaek know that the cause of his mother’s sudden anxiety is sitting in a booth just about ten feet away, with a woman of his own and a daughter younger than Hwitaek by some years. His mother sneaks a glance at the family’s booth, and smiles to herself when she sees them laughing and having fun. So, softly smiling to herself, she chooses an ice-cream for herself, pays for both her and Hwitaek’s ice-creams, and once they receive their treats, walks out and away with her son in tow.

☆

“Yah, Hwitaek-ah, come here for a bit.” Yoongi’s voice floats to Hwitaek during lunch break. He turns to the direction of his hyung’s voice to find the older boy standing some feet away from him, looking a little bit out of place surrounded by students all a year junior to him.

Hwitaek, now sixteen years old, rushes to greet his childhood friend older than him by only a few months but also his senior in high school, bowing to him once he stands in front of him. Yoongi looks grateful for Hwitaek not displaying any affection in public, only bowing back and smiling in return to the younger’s greeting.

“Hey, Yoongi hyung, what brings you here?” Hwitaek asks, peering up at the older boy, hands clasped behind his back.

“I just wanted to remind you that today’s Appa and Papa’s wedding anniversary, and we’re supposed to dress nicely for that, even though it’s only gonna be just some of us getting together in the evening," Yoongi tells Hwitaek, pursing his lips towards the end of the sentence because he does not like the idea of dressing up generally, much less for any event.

One look at Yoongi’s pursed lips and Hwitaek suppresses his urge to coo because the latter knows that had they not been in public, in the school’s cafeteria, the pursing of his hyung’s lips would have been a full-blown pout. Yoongi seemingly recognizes the look in the younger’s eyes because he shakes his head in a negating motion, urging him to not act on it and Hwitaek reassuringly grins back at him.

“I’ll keep that mind hyung, I guess Seokjin appa will talk to eomma about the same thing?” Hwitaek asks back, curiously gazing at Yoongi.

“Pretty much.” Yoongi shrugs, nods at Hwitaek, and leaves after he and Hwitaek share a small smile.

That same evening, Hwitaek and his mother are all dolled-up when they stand outside the Kims’ door, with Hwitaek dressed in a crisp white shirt and a pair of sleek black trousers, and his mother in a peach fitted dress that stops just past her knees. Hwitaek’s hair is gelled back just a little, keeping his forehead on display, and that is the first thing Taehyung, Yoongi’s younger brother, notices when he opens the door to welcome the mother and son in.

“Hyung, you look so good with your hair like this!” the fourteen-year-old boy exclaims, clinging to Hwitaek’s arm, looking at him with wide, shining eyes.

“Thank you Taehyungie!” Hwitaek smiles at him and ruffles the younger’s hair, Taehyung scrunching his nose up adorably. Hwitaek’s heart all but melts.

"Yah~! Hui-yah~! You won't come to see your Appa Jin huh~?" Seokjin fake-whines from beside Hwitaek's mother's side a couple of feet away. His husband of seven years (also his boyfriend of almost four years before they decided to get married), Kim Namjoon, stands by Seokjin’s side, staring at the older man, lips curved in an adorable smile and gaze besotted.

Hwitaek laughs in response and heads over to the couple of the evening and hugs both the men one by one, giggling loudly when Seokjin starts jumping on his spot with him in his arms. Once Seokjin lets him go Hwitaek hugs Namjoon, who, being the epitome of everything that is soft and gentle, hugs Hwitaek tenderly to his chest, one hand around his shoulders and the other petting his head.

Hwitaek likes Namjoon’s hugs a lot, and he likes it especially when the man gives him long hugs. Maybe it’s because the man is so gentle, and kind, and endearing, that Hwitaek feels so safe, and cared for and loved in his arms. So once Namjoon lets him go, Hwitaek almost misses the warmth and the feeling of security, but he shakes his head quietly to himself, shrugging away the silly thoughts.

Instead, Hwitaek moves on to meet one of the other guests present in the Kims’ place, Cha Hakyeon, or Hwitaek’s other kindergarten teacher. Hakyeon is there with his adoptive son Hongbin, who is an introverted little boy at the age of ten.

“Appa Hakyeon!” Hwitaek gushes before tackling the man into a bear-hug, Hakyeon welcoming him with open arms.

“Hui-yah~!” Hakyeon gushes back as he lifts Hwitaek off of the ground and spins him around.

After Hakyeon puts him down on the ground Hwitaek squats to come face level with the little boy Hongbin and cups his cheeks. Hongbin’s face flushes red when Hwitaek smiles at him, and goes thermonuclear when Hwitaek, after making small talk with him for a while, kisses his cheeks before standing up to go find company his age.

The little get together passes by smoothly, so does the celebratory dinner, and once everyone is done with giving their gifts to the couple the lights in the living area are dimmed down, fairy lights lit up, and the couples start dancing. The ‘couples’ being Seokjin and Namjoon, some of their other friends and their significant others like the Im couple – Uncles Jaebum and Jinyoung, the Wang couple – Jackson and Mark, the Do couple – Kyungsoo and Chanyeol, the other Kim’s – Uncle Jongin and his wife Jennie.

Hwitaek looks with amusement when Hakyeon makes a funny face at his mother, wiggles his eyebrows dramatically and asks her to dance. Hwitaek’s mother rolls her and flicks Hakyeon’s forehead before joining him to go slow dance with the other couples.

"Yah, wanna go outside?" Hwitaek hears Yoongi ask him and looks beside him to see the older looking bored, and looking at all the dancing couples with his nose scrunched up. Hwitaek giggles at the cute sight and nods, before standing up to follow Yoongi to the porch.

"Yah, Yoongi~! Where are you two going?" Seokjin hollers from the middle of the dancing couples, and in response, Yoongi hollers back, "You couples are making us wanna puke because of all that lovesick-ness, so we’re going outside to get some fresh air.”

Everyone bursts out laughing at Yoongi’s response but they go back to dancing again, and Hwitaek chuckles, following Yoongi outside. Both of them make small talk for a while on the porch, talking about anything ranging from life to studies, and everything in between. Comfortable conversation comes easily with being close friends since childhood, yet Hwitaek, for some reason, feels some sort of change in the air between them.

He does not know what it is, and somehow he can’t help but sneak a glance at his and Yoongi’s hands. Both of their hands are devoid of any red strings, and both the boys have their hands clasped as they make conversation. Hwitaek takes a look at his wristwatch at the time shows to be just shy of midnight, when he feels Yoongi shuffle closer to him.

“Yah, Hwitaek-ah.” At the mention of his name Hwitaek looks up at Yoongi, and it seems that lately all he can do is look up at him. _When did his hyung grow this much?_ He remembers always, _always_ being taller than the older, always having the older look up at him; but now, here he is, eyes wide and curious as he gazes up at the older boy.

“I think they’re leaving.” Yoongi whispers, gaze not leaving Hwitaek’s and the latter can’t look away either.

“Mhm," Hwitaek mumbles, eyes drifting to Yoongi’s lips and then back to his eyes as Yoongi comes even closer to him, backing him against the railing.

“Hwitaek-ah~” Yoongi sing-songs in a whisper, and there’s a particular glint in his eyes.

“Hm?” Hwitaek barely hears himself mumble over the rapid beating of his heart and the blood rushing through his ears.

Yoongi whispers his name again, hands grabbing the railing on each side of Hwitaek, trapping the younger between him and the railing. His voice is soft, husky, and it makes Hwitaek gulp. Hwitaek has no idea what is going on inside Yoongi’s mind, he has no idea what the older is doing, and honestly? Hwitaek doesn’t think he minds one bit what he feels Yoongi is probably about to do.

Well, he’s not wrong. He doesn’t mind Yoongi leaning in to press their foreheads together, he does not mind Yoongi looking at him for a moment as if asking for his permission, and he definitely does not mind when Yoongi finally closes the gap and kisses him.

"I've wanted to do that for a while now," Yoongi confesses once they break apart, and Hwitaek is dazed. His mind has short-circuited and (for him) time is currently at a standstill. His lips are tingling and he can still feel Yoongi’s soft and tender kisses, and before he can know what he is doing, he is leaning in to kiss Yoongi again.

Once they pull away again, Yoongi palms his cheek, thumb rubbing soft circles into the skin. The older hugs Hwitaek and presses a soft peck to the younger’s temple. By the time they walk inside, the guests are getting ready to leave, and both the boys’ parents eyes light up when they see them walking in.

The people present in the living area then greet each other as they slowly start to leave, and Hwitaek can’t stop blushing on their way home.

But the little fingers of both his hands are still empty.

~

Hwitaek and Yoongi break it off a year and half later when the latter goes to university. And Hwitaek can’t say he didn’t see that coming because he did. On meeting Yoongi’s friends for the first time Hwitaek sees the red string connecting Yoongi and the boys named Hoseok and Jimin in the shape of a triangle. So he is not surprised when some months later Yoongi tells him, in tears, ridden with guilt, that he’s in love with both of them.

Hwitaek, ever-so-understanding, assures Yoongi that he is completely okay with not being together anymore, as long they go back to being the closest friends that they were before getting together; and Yoongi cries into Hwitaek’s chest some more, before kissing him one last time and falling asleep on the younger’s bed, all snuggled up to him.

Surprisingly enough, the break up does not hurt Hwitaek as much as he thought it would. Sure, there are days when he misses Yoongi’s endless aegyo, the older’s endless grumbling, and nights when he misses pulling all-nighters with the older to binge watch TV series, and the nights spent cuddling.

It makes him sad that he won’t ever have Yoongi again, not in the way he used to, not like the friends they were before, not like the boyfriends they aren’t anymore, but he’s happy that Yoongi has found the people meant for him by fate, and he hopes and prays to God that they make him happy.

(Hwitaek tries to avoid questions and talking about things related to Yoongi, and keeps lying to himself that he is not devastated.)

☆

In retrospect, Hwitaek should have known that when it happened to him, it would happen when he’d least expect it. It would happen during a moment so mundane, _so normal_, that he wouldn’t see it coming even as it slapped him across the face.

Kim Hyunah or simply, Hyuna, the name she goes by, is a redheaded demon when she first enters Hwitaek’s life. With her, personal spaces don’t exist. With her, privacy is a foreign concept, completely unheard of.

First week of university and she plops her ass down on the seat next to Hwitaek's, the latter knows the girl is trouble. "Yah! What's your name?" she asks, pulling out a lollipop from her mouth almost the same colour as her hair, bright red lips curved around the candy. 

She’s blunt, almost rude and Hwitaek gives her a dry look, somehow looking only minimally affronted as he mumbles out a, “I’m Lee Hwitaek. What’s your name?”

At finally learning his name, her face morphs into a cheeky grin, “Call me Hyuna.” She says and winks, just as the professor walks in.

By the end of the day, Hwitaek learns that Hyuna has garnered somewhat of a reputation for herself. In the span of a week, she is not only known as the eccentric orange-haired girl, but also as the ‘art-chick', the ‘dancer', and the ‘troublemaker'. Hyuna, he learns, is an art major, and already a part of the university’s dance team. She’s also pulled pranks on some seniors and even a professor or two, _all_ within the first week.

Hwitaek doesn’t know how all of this is possible to have occurred in a week, but then, life works out in mysterious ways, or so he has heard.

However, by the end of the first day of him meeting Hyuna, sharing all classes except one together, Hwitaek also learns that Hyuna is a year older than him, had dropped a year after she graduated high school to figure out what she actually wanted to do with her life, wants to be a choreographer in the future; and also that Hwitaek, for some God-only-knows reason, feels a pull towards her he can’t explain. Or resist.

~

“Psst! Hui-ssi,” Hyuna whispers, and Hwitaek turns his head to his side to come face-to-face to the fake redhead.

“Come with me to the café by the corner today?” she asks, cheek resting on her palm, orange hair wavy and falling on to her face in a manner that is almost angelic, and did Hwitaek’s heart just skip a beat?

“Sure,” how can he say no? When Hyuna is that sweet and Hwitaek is that smitten and it’s been months since they first met and months since Hwitaek developed a crush on her? Hwitaek’s stomach feels funny (though it’s in a good way) when he thinks of his crush on his close friend.

“Yay~!” The girl squeals as quietly as she can in the middle of an ongoing class, and Hwitaek shakes his head. How can anyone be this cute, God help him?

“Dawnie~!” Hyuna gushes and runs to her best friend and hugs him close when he approaches them after classes are over. Both Hyuna and Hyojong walk to where Hwitaek is standing, arms around shoulders and big smiles adorning their faces.

Hwitaek feels his heart skip a beat again.

But this time, it’s not because of Hyuna, but because of Hyojong. The cute brunet whose screams sound like the sound effects in shitty horror movies. Who has an adorable smile, which contrasts his lean, muscled body very effectively.

And Hwitaek would be lying if he says he does not have a tiny little crush on Hyojong too.

“Hyojong-ah,” Hwitaek greets the boy, and in reply is met with a toothy grin.

“Hyung!” Hyojong greets him back, bounce in his step as he rushes to hug Hwitaek.

Hwitaek’s heart beats loudly in his ears as he hugs the younger, and he distantly hears Hyuna coo at them, but he cannot focus on anything else except for how well Hyojong fits in his arms. Hyojong presses a smooch to Hwitaek’s cheek and breaks out into laughter, and all Hwitaek does is blush and swat the boy away.

Hyuna giggles, saying something along the lines of ‘the cutest boyfriends’ before they all walk towards the café. Her hair that she’s now dyed a bright red catches the sunlight in the most amazing way, framing her face by a halo of red, and God, Hwitaek is so damn smitten.

Hwitaek, drowned in his thoughts, follows after his crushes quietly, not knowing what to say. He takes to observing the people on the way, the scenery, the lives around him, his two friends in front of him, and life is good, until it happens again.

Hwitaek sees a red string form and emerge from Hyuna’s little finger, and join the red string forming from Hyojong’s own. Hwitaek almost pauses in his tracks to make sense of what he just witnessed, but he does not really need to, because it is Hyuna and Hyojong.

Hyuna, and Hyojong. The perfect companions to each other, the most flawless pair, and it only makes sense that these two would be connected by the red string of fate. Hwitaek takes a deep breath and keeps walking, thinking of ways to think about anything else but the heartbreak that he is about to suffer.

What Hwitaek is not ready for, however, is how the thread that joins Hyuna and Hyojong to each other, starts to branch out from the centre. And it is headed, to Hwitaek's absolute _horror_, towards himself. And then Hwitaek does actually stop in his tracks, helplessly watching as the red string comes and wraps around his little finger, joining him to the other two in a T-shaped formation.

Hwitaek stops breathing for several moments.

No. No. This can’t be happening to him.

He is fine with Hyuna and Hyojong joint together by the thread, he would get over his crush on them pretty soon if he just tries hard enough, but this? Why this? Why does he have to be joined to those two by the red string of fate? He didn’t want this, no matter how hard he was crushing on both of his friends.

What is going to happen now? How is he going to deal with this tricky bond, where both of his friends are connected to each other and he is connected to their connection?

“Oi! What are you doing standing there like a statue? Hurry up!” Hyuna’s voice brings him back to his senses, and Hwitaek looks up from his feet to see her and Hyojong waiting for him, and he shakes his head with a smile before falling into step with the two of them.

This love is going to hurt so much more than he thought it would.

☆

They are sitting in class when Hwitaek hears his name being called out in a whisper. Again. And of course, it is Hyuna who is calling out to him.

“What?” He whispers back, eyebrows raised in question, and Hyuna makes that face. That face that Hwitaek just can’t say no to, no matter how hard he tries. He knows Hyuna is going to ask something of him, and he knows he won’t be able to say no to it, whatever it may be.

“Will you come to see me dance in the annual talent show?” She asks cutely, batting her eyelashes in a funny way that makes Hwitaek grin, and shake his head in resignation. _So whipped._

“Have I ever said no to anything that you’ve asked of me?” He asks back, pinching Hyuna’s nose and she scrunches it cutely.

“But is that a yes?” She asks, trying to escape Hwitaek’s fingers ready to pinch her again.

“You tell me,” Hwitaek chuckles under his breath, and Hyuna swats at him with her pen.

"Little shit," she grumbles and then goes back to taking notes.

~

The Annual Talent Show comes too soon for Hwitaek to even register what is going on, and what he is going to do. It feels like only yesterday when Hyuna asked him to come to see her dance at the show, and that was almost a month ago. And the next thing he knows, his music professor is announcing that there is only one week left for the program.

Even that would not have bothered Hwitaek so much, had his name not been in the list of participants.

“Sominie!" He calls out to his classmate and best friend once the class is dismissed.

Somin looks up from where she is putting her binder inside her bag and smiles as she comes over to hug Hwitaek.

“Hui!” She giggles once they part from their hug and Hwitaek laughs at her cuteness.

“I need your help.” He says.

“Okay,” Somin replies, “with what, though?”

“You know, the Annual Talent Show,” Hwitaek begins nervously, knowing that he needs to play his cards right if he wants Somin to perform with him. “My name is in the participant list, and I still don’t know what I’m going to do.”

Somin hums. “And you need my help with?”

“Please perform with me?” Hwitaek flashes her his puppy face.

If he goes by anything the people in his life have told him, then it is a fact that his puppy face is absolutely heart-wrenching.

He sees Somin start to crack.

Though it is a while before she says anything.

“Fine, just tell me what is on your mind,” She concedes, with an affectionate roll of her eyes. Like she cannot believe she is doing this, but then she can, because it is Hwitaek she is doing it for.

“Thank you so much!” Hwitaek cheers and hugs her again, and she hugs him back, patting his head.

“You’re lucky I’m kind, and can’t say no to you,” She drawls before picking up her bag and dragging Hwitaek to the cafeteria.

The next couple of days go by in a blur, and it is a weird, _slow_, yet simultaneously fast blur that Hwitaek does not even have memory of what went on most days. He just knows that he is ready with a performance, on a song he wrote and composed himself, with Somin featuring on it.

He and Somin practice at her apartment and not in the university’s auditorium because they are planning on keeping the nature of their performance a surprise. This will be the first time that people will be seeing that side of Hwitaek and Somin, so they’re both excited to see how that is going to play out.

Hwitaek sighs sadly, when his mind goes back to Hyuna and Hyojong, because ever since this entire thing started, this Talent Show or whatever, Hwitaek feels like Hyuna and Hyojong are slowly becoming more and more distant from him.

They are all very busy, but Hwitaek’s attempts at making conversation have been falling flat lately, with both of his friends saying that they are just too busy with their performance. Hwitaek understands how stressful the whole performance deal is, because the actual show is _tomorrow_, but surely they could find some time to talk to him?

He chalks it up to anticipation.

Surely things will be alright after the Talent Show is over with. Right?

~

“Hui-ssi! You came!” Hyuna squeals happily when she sees Hwitaek come over backstage, and Hyojong gives Hwitaek an identical toothy-grin.

“Hyung, it’s so nice to see you after so long!” Hyojong says, beaming when Hwitaek smiles back at him.

“It’s been a long time since we’ve hung out too…” Hyuna bemoans sadly, pouting as she clings on to Hwitaek, holding his arm to her chest, and Hwitaek shakes his head warmheartedly.

"We can hang out after our performances, you guys," Hwitaek chuckles, and the other two shoot him curious looks.

“Wait, you’re performing too?” Hyuna asks with her eyes wide in surprise, and Hyojong has a similar look on his face.

“Yeah,” Hwitaek chuckles sheepishly. “I mean, I’m a student of the music class as well, you know? Teacher Kim would have my hide if I didn’t participate and perform.”

“Right, right.” Hyuna and Hyojong chuckle and then hug Hwitaek tightly.

“All the best to you, Hui-ssi!” Hyuna gushes, kissing Hwitaek’s cheek, and then pats his back. It takes all in Hwitaek not to blush.

"Do your best out there, hyung!" Hyojong wishes with a smile and squeezes Hwitaek's shoulder.

Hwitaek in return smiles brightly and wishes the other two good luck for their own performances, and the couple leaves to greet the other participants with a promise of meeting soon to Hwitaek.

The program finally begins as evening starts to set, and Hwitaek’s nerves spike. Somin is there to hold his hand and offer him reassurances that everything is going to be just fine and that they will do well, but Hwitaek’s nervousness just makes him queasy.

“Oh God, I think I’m gonna puke.” Hwitaek whispers as these two guys arrive backstage after performing their energetic song called ‘Bounce’ or whatever, and God there’s only two or three more performances left until it’s time for Hwitaek and Somin’s performance.

"Take some deep breaths, Hui. We've had a lot of practice, and we're not bad at what we do, so it's gonna be just fine." Somin says with a lot of confidence, and though Hwitaek still feels the urge to vomit, he’s going to be fine. Somin’s right. They’re both pretty good at what they do, they’ve both had a lot of practice, and if she is confident that they’ll do well, then they _will_ do well.

“Thanks, that’s actually pretty reassuring.” He whispers to her, staring at the screen where the participants can watch the ongoing performances, and he doesn’t hear whatever Somin mumbles in reply because of how his breath hitches when Hyuna and Hyojong make their appearance on-stage and on-screen.

“Hi everyone,” Hyuna giggles in her adorable voice, and Hwitaek’s heart feels like expanding his chest. He is so fond of her.

“I’m Hyuna, this is my boyfriend Hyojong, and we’re gonna perform a song called ‘Roll Deep’.” Hwitaek hears how loud the audience cheers when Hyuna introduces Hyojong as her boyfriend, and his heart feels full with love, but there’s also a twinge of sadness because he knows that he will never get to be a part of that. He doesn't get a lot of time to dwell on that, however.

The song that they perform is just like them ― attention-grabbing, confident, and difficult to look away from. Hwitaek finds it impossible to take his eyes off of the two, and all of his senses are drawn to the couple performing on the screen in front of him. When the performance finishes, loud cheers resonate inside the college campus. Hwitaek finds himself and Somin clapping like seals for their friends, and then his and Somin’s names are announced and his mind goes blank.

He has no memory of going on stage, or of performing, or of anything that happened beyond the point that they were called on stage, but his senses come back when he hears deafening cheers from the entire campus, or so it sounds like.

He and Somin take their bows and run backstage, with Somin giggling all the way, and Hwitaek is still dazed.

“What just happened?” He looks at her and mumbles, and Somin just squeals and hugs him tightly, jumping where they stand.

“We did so well out there!” She gushes and Hwitaek has a hard time processing the information, but he smiles and nods nevertheless because if Somin says they did well, then they did well.

The rest of the event is also a blur. All Hwitaek knows by the time Somin is dragging him by his arm to her car where Hyuna and Hyojong are also waiting for them to go catch a late-night snack _(holy shit how is it 1 a.m. already?);_ is that this duo of guys who went by the name NCT U won the first position, Hyuna and Hyojong won the first runners-up, and two other of their batch mates who went by the group name JJ Project won second runners-up.

While he and Somin did not end up winning, they were one of the most talked-about performances of the night. The judges and the audience liked them so much that they even got an honourable mention and another standing ovation. Hwitaek thanks his stars, he couldn't be gladder.

They go to McDonald's because that is all they can afford as broke college students, and order enough to feed a small army. In the end, they can't even finish half of the food so they ask for bags to take it away. They walk out sipping on their drinks and talking about something only God knows about, and Hwitaek cannot stop looking at the string that ties him to Hyuna and Hyojong's bond.

_So twisted._

☆

“Eomma, do you think it’s because we can see the strings?” He asks his mother after he is finished telling her everything about his thread of fate. He hears his mother hum on the other side of the phone.

“Maybe.” She says, sounding so sad Hwitaek’s heart breaks even more. “Maybe. Maybe it’s our penance for seeing so much more than what normal people do. For being different. For being able to manipulate people’s fates.”

Hwitaek hums in acknowledgement.

“You know what happens to people who can meddle with fate, Hui?” His mother asks, and he knows better than to answer it because he is aware of the fact he will probably not like the answer. Sensing his hesitancy, his mother continues, "They cannot do anything about their own."

Hwitaek sighs shakily. He knows. Of course, he does.

“For your sake, baby…” She takes in a deep breath to calm herself. “…For your sake, eomma hopes that you will get over this and one day, tear your thread off and away, yourself.”

Understanding settles in Hwitaek’s mind.

“Is that what you did, too, eomma?” He asks, cautiously.

“The world moves on, Hui…” She sighs in answer, “it’s only natural that we do, too.”

That is the only thing she says about that.

Hwitaek looks at his hand once again.

The silky red thread stretches from his pinky-finger almost endlessly. He grabs it, trying to snap it off. It doesn’t happen, but he figures he will do it sometime or the other. It doesn’t have to be right now. Not when he has just spent the better part of a year having feelings for both Hyuna and Hyojong. Good things take time, right?

He thinks about what his mother just said to him.

_The world moves on Hui… It’s only natural that we do, too._

He guesses he will have to, too.

He will get over it.

He wishes he got some kind of warning. He wishes love wasn’t so difficult. Wishes that fate wasn’t so fickle. Wishes that he had better luck with love.

He wishes for a lot of things.

Wishes he could never see the red strings of fate. Wishes that he could bend his fate to his will. Wishes he never joined this university. Wishes he never met Hyuna and Hyojong...

Maybe life would be easier then.

Maybe if he met them in some other place, some other time, or maybe another life… things would be different.

But when it comes down to it…

Hwitaek knew.

Deep down, Hwitaek always (kind of) knew.

**Author's Note:**

> hope you liked this! 
> 
> also remember that ur the moon and i lov u. pls be kind to urself. have a good day/night wherever you are. <3333
> 
> \- min💕


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